+3 Charisma

I know this guy, he's a real dood. But he doesn't like it when he does awesome stuff in meat space and then we talk about how awesome it was in CYBER SPACE!

I don't know why, I think he comes out with hives when he reads his name on the interwebs.

So I'll attempt, as best I can, to retell this story with as few distinguishing features or characteristics that would give away our pal.

This story, it's about a guy, for the sake of annonymity, we'll call him.... ummmm... Bred Faynes.

Bred Faynes is totally awesome, and he has a totally awesome hat that he refuses to wear in public. I never understood this. If you have something cool, shouldn't you show it off? Not keep it on a dusty shelf above your giant glass bottle, under your bunk bed where you keep six years worth of playboy magazines.

Or something.

On friday night, he decided to cut loose and bust it out.



Now I understand why he has only ever worn it once before in public.

HE HAS TO FEND LADIES OFF WITH FLYING FISTS AND KARATE CHOPS WHEN HE WEARS IT!!!!!!

James and I accompanied Bred Faynes out for a night on the town. We payed our way into our club of choice and wandered up to the bar. There was a cute bartendress giving me some eyes while I ordered, so I was giving some eyes back.
She approached me as I was picking up my jug of beer and said.

"I love that hat, is your outfit 'specially for here?"

SHE WASN'T TALKING TO ME! SHE WAS TALKING TO BRED FAYNES WHO HAD SNUCK UP BEHIND ME!!!!!

We were in the club for all of 1 minute and already the ladies were laying into him!!!!

Brimming with confidence Bred Faynes found us a table and we stood around drinking for a while.

This was one of those dorky ass tables that are stuck out in the middle of nowhere, are about 30cm in diameter and make you look like a complete asshat. I couldn't stand it any more, so I went to the toilet. James also nicked off for some reason leaving our Bred Faynes all alone.

I was worried, Bred Faynes gets nervous when by himself in public places. So out of concern for my good friend, I decided to do a rush job at the men's room and tuck it away mid drain.

I rushed back to Bred, tears welling in my eyes. Rounding the corner, what do I see?

MOTHER FUCKER HAS TWO FLY HONEY DIPS HANGING OFF HIM DANCING ALL AROUND THE PLACE GOING WILD!!!!!1111

These ladies were gorgeous, and they were loving our Breddy Faynes. Loving every inch of him.

We shared a drink with them and then they uttered the magic words.

"Do you boys like to dance?"

So we went out and rocked with them on the dance floor for a while.

And it just went on and on and on like that all fucking night long.

Ladies were loving on Breddy Faynes like there was no tomorrow.

The hat of +3 charisma was in full effect.

Ummm, I guess there should be a moral in this story or something. Perhaps; Drunk chicks are cool.
I think that's a moral.