365 degrees

Sometimes people go off.
Not like eggs.
Like a fucking bomb.
And they blow everyone's mind apart.

On Saturday night, J*m*s P*nt*f*x went off so hard that it wrecked havoc on my cranium.

I don't know what got into him, but it took control of every fibre of his being, and didn't let go until about 5:30 in the morning.

He was on fire. Now most people, when their friends are on fire they're all up in your face like "Shit! My friend's on fire! Help!" and run around trying to put them out. That's the lamest thing ever.

I let the mother fucker burn.

Man, he was so on fire that the bichamin melted under his feet.

J*m*s; courtesy Campbell W. 9/11; courtesy Bin Laden. Hiroshima; courtesy America.

If it was the eleventh of September, in 2001, and we were in New York. We'd be all rocking out and all the New Yorkers would all be "Aghhhh, the World Trade Center is on fire!" and I'd just be like, "Phff, have you seen my friend over here?" and I'd point to J*m*s P*nt*f*x. Everyone would calm down and realise that the Twin Towers weren't that big a deal. J*m*s P*nt*f*x was much hotter.

And man, we'd be going off in Japan, and America would be flying overhead dropping THE BOMB and we'd just be so fucking chill about it because IT WAS NOTHING COMPARED TO HOW HOTTTT J*M*S P*NT*F*X WAS ON SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!
The Japanese would be totally freaking out, all like "Ohio Gozimus" and shit, and I'd be all "Doitashimushtai" and they'd proabably chill a bit. Not enough to stop them going on to develop tentacle porn and bukkake though....

If countries were really serious about destroying one another, they should just give J*m*s P*nt*f*x a bottle of Vodka and a plane ticket to the detested country.

THEY WOULDN'T STAND A FUCKING CHANCE!!!!!!