Dear Diary.

I never quiet realised how much of a mine field teenage girls must navigate.
It seems that their entire teen lives are spent doing their darndest to avoid the constant barrage of embaressment that is thrown in their path. Perhaps it’s a biological thing, women’s bodies being designed for maximum social ridicule. Perhaps it’s an attention seeking device. Who knows?

If you looked into the diary of your average 15 year old girl, it would probably read something like this…



“Dear Diary,

Today was the most embaressing day of my life. I’d gone shopping with a group of my friends at the shopping center and my mum insisted she come along to make sure we stayed out of trouble. I was mortified.

My friends and I were all in a really hot store trying on some super cool clothes. I had gone in to try on an awesome dress for the beach. I was looking great in it. I pushed open the change room doors to show everyone.

The halter neck of the dress caught on the door as it was opening and the top half fell down! I had stuffed my bra with tissues earlier that day and they flew everywhere! Because my bra was so loose it slipped down and everyone could see my boobs!

I went so red. To make matters worse, when I looked around I noticed my boyf and his best friend, my hot crush standing outside the store laughing at me.

I screamed at that instant did a huge fart which everyone in the store heard. It was the worst day of my life. I ran back into the change room and started crying.

My boyf came in to try to comfort me, I sat on his lap and when I was feeling better we came out of the change room.

All of my friends started laughing when we walked out, and we couldn’t figure out why. Then someone pointed at my boyf’s crotch. It was covered in blood!
During all the drama my pad had slipped and my period has seeped through the dress onto his white cotton pants! My bum was completely covered in blood as well!

One of the shop assistants came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. I got such a fright that I did a little bit of wee and my friends started laughing even more. She told me I had to buy the dress because I’d ruined it! It was worth $200! I’m still paying mum back by washing her car and doing the dishes. And now I have a a dream dress that I can’t wear.

Now all my friends call me "Blood Bum". Which isn't a good thing!
They all think it was the funniest thing ever.

It was the most embaressing day of my life.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Love Anne Frank”



Man, it’s rough being a teenage girl. My heart goes out to all the sufferers of female teenagehood.

I should probably start a foundation or something.